Top Ten Reasons To Become Emergent

10. I have no theological training but I'm tired of manual labor.
9. I'd rather read 14 other books, than one chapter of the Bible.
8. I want to make up my own rules.
7. Noboby else will ordain me.
6. I can't spell, but I want to teach.
5. I want to be an authority in something. And since the Emergents believe nothing, I think I can handle the training.
4. I'd rather be "missional" than go witnessing.
3. I'd rather quote Burke than Paul.
2. I want to keep my bong in the living room when my pastor comes over.
1. I really want to get a tattoo on my forehead and still be in the praise band.